A Regretful Soul!
There I was lying cold and motionless. I couldn't sense or feel anything. I could see blood stained bed-sheet on which I was resting, as I was never to rise up again. There were people; whom once I used to love, crying and yelling in pain of loosing there beloved, but I had no emotions for them right there. I was nostalgic and weightless as I moved to the corner of that room, right next to the window which was looking down at the street; leaving my dead lifeless body behind.
Sixty two years of age was much more than I expected. With all duties done, children having settled, and after dreading five years of loneliness since my wife's departure, finally I was done too. Even though I was a good son, a loyal husband and a loving father yet I wasn't calm inside after leaving my body. My hard outer being was fully eroded from inside leaving guilt and thirst of undone works.
I was a dedicated man. A man of visions with a hunger for the best. I was into the mad race for the worldly attractions of best jobs and the comforts. A couple of years back I was having the best job and few moments back I had all my imagined comforts but now as my numb body lied silently on stretcher; I have nothing excepts my regrets and hollow inner-self.
Past was so uneventful. I shouldn't have been in so much hurry for growing up. Childhood was fun but I cared least so as to become an adult as early as possible- I wish I had enjoyed my childhood in a real sense. I knew friends are no doubt necessary but initial backstabbing never allowed me to make friends as my first priority- I wished I had made some real good life long friends. In college days, I always managed to sneak out any possible plan of my mates of having fun- I wish I had bunked few lectures and should have gone with them on rides around the college and the city. I remember her, my first crush, as everybody do remember their's; but I never dared to speak the truth- I wish I could have spoken my heart out to her. My parents loved me a lot. With age I became too busy to become capable of buying all comforts to them. I forgot that with me they were also growing up- I wish instead of buying all those feeling-less comforts I would have comforted them by my presence and should have taken care of them. For any human observing one's own child grow up provides immense joy; but in rush of securing their future, I never noticed them growing up- I wish I had taken less care of their unpredictable future and should have enjoyed with them in their present. Throughout my life I loved my wife more than anything. When she was in the final battle against asthma I brought every best doctor for curing her, instead of being with her all-through and providing her faith- I wish I could have made her satisfied by my presence right next to her and had thanked for her devotion and love.
With the dawn, as I observed the reddish hue of sun, a part of me started to move to the soul world. And no sooner My Regretful Soul, slowly faded into the surrounding for never coming back again.
Don't leave what you have right now to go and chase what you don't have!
Looking ahead is good but not at the cost of your present!!
Sixty two years of age was much more than I expected. With all duties done, children having settled, and after dreading five years of loneliness since my wife's departure, finally I was done too. Even though I was a good son, a loyal husband and a loving father yet I wasn't calm inside after leaving my body. My hard outer being was fully eroded from inside leaving guilt and thirst of undone works.
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| A Regretful Soul |
I was a dedicated man. A man of visions with a hunger for the best. I was into the mad race for the worldly attractions of best jobs and the comforts. A couple of years back I was having the best job and few moments back I had all my imagined comforts but now as my numb body lied silently on stretcher; I have nothing excepts my regrets and hollow inner-self.
Past was so uneventful. I shouldn't have been in so much hurry for growing up. Childhood was fun but I cared least so as to become an adult as early as possible- I wish I had enjoyed my childhood in a real sense. I knew friends are no doubt necessary but initial backstabbing never allowed me to make friends as my first priority- I wished I had made some real good life long friends. In college days, I always managed to sneak out any possible plan of my mates of having fun- I wish I had bunked few lectures and should have gone with them on rides around the college and the city. I remember her, my first crush, as everybody do remember their's; but I never dared to speak the truth- I wish I could have spoken my heart out to her. My parents loved me a lot. With age I became too busy to become capable of buying all comforts to them. I forgot that with me they were also growing up- I wish instead of buying all those feeling-less comforts I would have comforted them by my presence and should have taken care of them. For any human observing one's own child grow up provides immense joy; but in rush of securing their future, I never noticed them growing up- I wish I had taken less care of their unpredictable future and should have enjoyed with them in their present. Throughout my life I loved my wife more than anything. When she was in the final battle against asthma I brought every best doctor for curing her, instead of being with her all-through and providing her faith- I wish I could have made her satisfied by my presence right next to her and had thanked for her devotion and love.
With the dawn, as I observed the reddish hue of sun, a part of me started to move to the soul world. And no sooner My Regretful Soul, slowly faded into the surrounding for never coming back again.
Don't leave what you have right now to go and chase what you don't have!
Looking ahead is good but not at the cost of your present!!
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