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Showing posts from 2014

Her First Flight

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Yes I knew that's not gonna happen yet I was standing there in the oblivion, waiting for her. Deep in my heart I can never believe that we weren't meant to be together still I was expecting her to come back. My childish moist eyes were not accepting the obvious fact. Even though it just had been just a couple of week but it appeared as if I have been with her for ages. From nowhere she came, ignited my child consciousness and left me burning in agony.

On a very bright day, some eight summers back, I remember I came across a sweet little nest of some bird on my terrace. The curious me, in no moment noticed the purple egg in that golden color nest properly hidden behind a wedge. I used to observe the mother bird taking care of her egg. Few days later when I went back to the nest there was no egg, instead there was sweet bluish green baby bird. That little bird, was such an awful thing to me. It was really an adventurous feeling to see such a little life, for a twelve year old k…

A Regretful Soul!

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There I was lying cold and motionless. I couldn't sense or feel anything. I could see blood stained bed-sheet on which I was resting, as I was never to rise up again. There were people; whom once I used to love, crying and yelling in pain of loosing there beloved, but I had no emotions for them right there. I was nostalgic and weightless as I moved to the corner of that room, right next to the window which was looking down at the street; leaving my dead lifeless body behind.

Sixty two years of age was much more than I expected. With all duties done, children having settled, and after dreading five years of loneliness since my wife's departure, finally I was done too. Even though I was a good son, a loyal husband and a loving father yet I wasn't calm inside after leaving my body. My hard outer being was fully eroded from inside leaving guilt and thirst of undone works.

I was a dedicated man. A man of visions with a hunger for the best. I was into the mad race for the world…

A roadside couple!

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"We are happy and present for each other every time- what else do we need?", with a skimpy cough, said the old shoemaker sitting at the entrance of his clapped out hut, as the smoke rose from the back side of his little empire, on the very nick of the road, where his wife has been cooking for the two. As he sewed my shoe's tore mid-sole, I kept wondering what those resolutely noxious eyes have seen in their entire journey of life- to be so peaceful and turbulent at the same time, even when devoid of all worldly matters.
Two years back, I remember, Everyday I used to cross that super busy road; right next to a nearly shattered hut- to reach my coaching classes. While travelling back to my dorm, I used to peep in to that little place only to find an old man and a women; who use to talk in quite a chivalrous mood. But whenever the lady left for some work, a grave fear used to coat old man's smile. I wanted to know the reason but how, I being an outsider -could invade t…

Oneday

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One day you will miss me
Like I missed you forever..
I am just sick  If not you Death should meet me rather.. In this world of agony and pain where tears shed like rain I remember, we had spent few lovely moments together which now can not be cherished with one another.. One day you will miss me  Like I missed you forever!
In this world of multiple faces I too learnt something bad Its only "pretend" to be HAPPY when you are sad.. Though I regret For what I had done but doesn't mean Only I caused initiation.. I had a problem untold that I can't keep my feelings hold and this was the devilish work which brought my life to dirge.. let, bygones be bygones still, there's a flame burning  and will be enlightened till the sun of my life sets ever.. I bet, One day you will miss me  like I missed you forever!

Who cares!

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Who Cares If I am sad
Who Cares how I feel
Who Cares If I am alone
Who Cares For the evil I deal
Who Cares!
Who Cares what I alike
Who Cares what I need
Who Cares what I wish
Who Cares To listen my plea
Who Cares!
Who Cares to ask my well being
Who Cares for my innocent heart
Who Cares to hear my silence
Who Cares if I did not start
Who Cares!
Who Cares If I miss my self
Who Cares if I shed tear
Who Cares If I fake smile
Who Cares of dead life I bear
Who Cares!
Who Cares If my eyes go moist
Who Cares I miss my smile
Who Cares for my somewhere lost mind
Who Cares If I want to be happy for a while
Who Cares!
Who Cares of my unusual behavior
Who Cares If something I want to tell
Who Cares to understand me
Who Cares how bad I felt
Who Cares!
Who Cares If I got hurt
Who Cares of nightmare I see
Who Cares If I dread dreams
Who Cares to accept my plea
Who Cares!
Who Cares of my existence
Who Cares if I was not born
Who Cares for this lone soul
Who Cares for this Lovelorn
Who Cares!
Who Car…

All About Our Life!

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Life is certainly the most unpredictable, unfathomable and awfully unusual web of events occuring with us. Life has its own nature. It always happens. Whatever we imagine we never get, whatever we get we never have wished, whatever we wished we never received and whatever we received we never accepted and loved. We live in dilemma of bad past and unknown future. We always remembered whatever things and people we lost but we never ever appreciated beautiful things and important persons we have.
Why life is so different, so challenging?
Is it really most confusing thing or we are the one hugely confused?
We all think to have a life according to us but at most occasions it goes on itself, bringing in surprising people and events that we never ever had imagined of. At that point of life we shouldn't be stubborn, sometimes we should compromise with situations and people, as each and everything happening to us, is for our good only. There are generally two ways of living …

An Old Book and The Feelings

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In a dark corner of the shelf, I was lying since the time immemorial. Now I was An Old Book for her. I remember when she bought me I was quite appealing with a brand new cover, attractive bold titles and meaningful insights with some awesome reviews. She was very happy while holding me in her hand and felt proud. She was extremely curious to know everything about me. She thought I had all she wished for and was totally flaunted with the beautiful sensitive story I stored in, and with the life I contained in me. No sooner I became her first priority to everything. She would accompany me in her thoughts everywhere until she was able to know me all. The day she got to know whatever I contained, I became a thicker lifeless book for her. She soon lost interest in me. I was not that exciting and interesting now as she knew every bit of me. Finally she bought a new book. Yet, she often sometimes go through my pages when bored but now I was apathetic to her with nothing new to say and so the…

City-lights and the Moon!

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Past week wedding ceremonies were at brim. At every place I was able to hear cheerfulness and the festive mood of the respective families. Recently I too paid a visit to one such family wedding ceremony. To we teens, weddings just mean some super delicious varied variety Food and a refreshing atmosphere, a way too different from our over pressured college or school life. It was all fun till the belly was empty but no sooner after eating enough, I needed to sneak out of that place, much over crowded with my family members. Finally, I was successful. Finding a way to top floor of that premises, I stepped up as fast as I could, before any pair of eye could notice me. In tens of second, I was at the highest point in that area. I looked 60 feet below to take a glance at the colourful lights coming from the lawn but at the same moment I found myself inclined to light coming from thousands of kilometre away, ie from The moon.
I was just standing at cliff, wondering and comparing city-lights a…

From the past!

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Reshuffling back to some previous memories.. 
We all have those lovely moments somewhere engraved in the darkest corner of our mind. Our childhood Days , were seriously something incomparable to any happiness. Giving a little hush to our mind , we automatically transfer from some lone silent present with tensed mind worrying about millions of useless things to some extremely energetic time where play was our only need and being cheerful was our only work. Those wonderful moments of us in past, are today, giving smile to our lips and moistness to our eyes. I wonder how the things change, how our priorities shift with in seconds, how fast time swept away, and how we grow up and how early we are left helpless, hopeless, fighting our present for our future. 

When we were kids we were so eager to grow up. We envied our elders having so much freedom. We too wished freedom, wanted to do whatever we wish, wanted to get freed from some company everywhere, wished to be all alone self reliant and …

Regretful Past!

What age you are
It doesn't matter
twenty thirty
or lived forever..
I was there
I am there..
I will be there
with nothing new to share..
In those dark unknown corners
In hidden forgotten places..
some where unknown
with zero access..
I am with you
midst the daily events..
under stacks of
memorable moments..
I am your thoughts
I am feelings lost
I am your unsaid words
I am your regretful past!

A Devil Unbeaten!

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The Devil, a supernatural entity that is the personification of evil. This is as per Wikipedia and according to mainstream beliefs. 
But Modern definition of a Devil is more humane. And is more bewildering.
The Devil, might be pounding off regularly all around under some respectable mask, having some authoritative title, waiting for a prey, might be eyeing on anybody of us. More often the dull innocent decent soul falls for these masked devils and gets themselves lost in a guilt of an undone mistake.

Society is completely bowed down before this Unbeaten devil. This devil resides in corrupt bodies with sinful thoughts and with an aspiration of exploiting human bodies.

Sexual harassment, is on an exponential increase with the exposure of people, especially fairer sex, to the modern world. It is literally impossible to judge about the intentions of the person in this so called civilized world. A respectable person, sweet as sugar, turns out to be the reason for worst nightmare to an ill …

Re-Discovering Happiness!

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Are you happy with your present life in the modern world?
if yes..
then give it a second thought.

We all of us have had a moment of stillness in our lives. Sitting in the balcony or on the side space of window and feeling soft breeze on our skin with a mug of coffee and a biscuit, and nothing to worry about. All task done, room cleaned, cooked food, completed assignments etc etc etc. Completely no tension. Certainly life can not be better than this.

But thereafter also, with the first sip of the coffee, we feel something is missing, something is not going the way it should go in our lives. We have the every possible reason to be happy; a good life, a job, a good college and a happy family, still we feel there is some void in our mind waiting to be filled but we are unable to configure what is lacking in our happy relaxed life.
We are living in the so called 21st century, the modern era, the age of science. In-spite of all the modern gadgets, machines and resources why are we still un…

My Last letter : A story of a girl

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Today, fifteen years later , I am writing this letter to you , with a bottle of pesticide kept right in front of my eyes. My husband is a pesticide engineer . I had never thought that this pesticide would ever be used to serve this purpose but its the need of the time .

Like most of the girls in our civilized Indian society I too , was warned to be careful about the immoral behavior of our metropolitan cities , when I moved out of my parents care to complete my graduation . As I belonged to a very conservative family , so from very small age I was told not to talk with unknown people . Anyways , in the new city the college was good and I made friends with a number of girls. Even they too , warned me to play safe on that new stage of life and specifically to boys .
One bright day , while parking my scooty at the college gate , the handle just slipped off my soft palms , but never the soon a pair of strong hand helped me out. As I was a bit aware of boys in the college , I said thanks …

The Proposal: Discovering Love!

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I was an all time single guy before felling in love with her. Social networking, is really acting like a linking path between two unknown people, who might have never been able to meet if these social sites never existed. Like every usual day, there was nothing exciting going on my life. I loved my life the way it was. It had been a long time when my heart was betrayed and I was left with a void, deep in my heart. Since then, I used to avoid any further involvement of my heart in any matter. I allowed my brain to work upon it logically rather than getting emotional because of my heart. That was the secret of my new found world.. only my world!
No sooner, I became strong enough to tackle any problem logically than dealing with it emotionally.
Enjoying years in a faithful company of myself, I understood the difference between what I was and what I am.
Every single part inside me was healing but still the void, created years back remained intact.
It was not before, by luck or chance or …

Unconcerned Middle-class !!

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"Could you please provide us with some space to sit ?"
"Sorry old man! I am, myself not able to properly sit on this seat."- replied a man , who was comfortably sitting on the corner seat.  The old man's sunken eyes were unable to find any place to sit. Finally , he decided to sit on the floor with his son. I don't know why , but his cracked  wavery voice caught my attention. While the old man was adjusting his little luggage , his son was just staring at him as if he wasn't knowing what his father was doing . Suddenly , from no where a women entered the train compartment and began investigating if the old man and his son were settled or not. I was a bit amazed while she was talking to his son , who was in his mid twenties, in some kind of sign language and with mixture of some words. Later , I configured out that the boy was intellectually disabled i.e.mentally retarded. I felt quite sympathetic for the boy and of course for the old man. Nevertheless …

Growing Up !

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Here I am , soon leaving behind my teen age group to add one more to the adult beings. Many of us already are a part of this group , some would be joining with me and others in some short period of time. But the fact is, that every growing being is going be a part of this age group sooner or later. The time slipped away at a much pace than I expected. I never thought it would be this much painful to be called an adult but yes it is. In my , childhood days I wondered how great it would feel to be an adult where no one is monitoring  your movement , where you are the in-charge of your life: the captain of your ship. But , today nothing is  happening as I used to fantasize about.
Today , after breathing nineteen springs , I am only left with some crooked past , multiple falls , some heart breaks , few longing friendships , many separations and a heavy heart with a burdened soul. I am not a pessimistic but all I seeked for , was absorbed from me to some lone place where I could never get…

Poem: Saving you!

I am confused
whether to or not..
respect my mind
or go apart!
whatever it say
should I accept..
or let my destiny rule
with some respect!
I was never wrong
still I can apologize..
to keep things right
I can pay myself as a sacrifice!
all that i could
i did to protect..
and tried to tell
from the every aspect!
its just play of words
all that took..
to make me odd
and make me shook!
thousands of words..
that I didn't say
was later misunderstood..
and later I had to pay!

Departure:A Realized journey

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Finally I was there , sitting all alone on my berth in the train , with some never seen faces at Lucknow Railway Station . The train was as still as mountains while my thoughts were equally unstable . Fighting those thoughts of uneven feeling , I somehow managed to find sleep .

It had not been a long time since I slept , when with a hush of the wind over my face and a sudden jerk , on that cool winter evening , I was brought back from some unfathomable thought to the practical world . A blinding flash of how I was forced by time to bid good bye to my parents , moistened my eyes .
Just few days back after spending a great deal of time in my college I went back to my home for the winter break . Returning back home was some thing of real excitement and coming back was an equally devastating feeling inside.
As the train paced up, my mind paced down. I felt some weird stillness in my head. Looking out the train window with my moist eyes I kept observing different trees, houses, lakes, ani…